Important request related to marriage process for boys/girls in US


Yesterday I got a call from my friend who has a daughter, who will be ready for marriage in the next few years. She was sharing her concern of not knowing how or where to approach for potential alliances etc. It is very true that until you get into that stage in your life you do not understand how hard that process is! While we all meet people in social gatherings etc, we are not as thickly connected like other communities like gujarathis, Telugu etc. Even in Tamil certain folks are well networked – like Chettiars. But brahmins – in my opinion the least connected groups – sadly.

Also I personally see so many boys and girls not getting married even after their 30s, which is quite sad. Partly the reason is that they initiate the process pretty late. All parents are so concerned on few things here in US – (1) they should get married to an Indian (2) They should get married to vegetarians (3) the family should have some good religious background that we hope would pass along the children too. Point #2 is the most difficult condition to meet. It is so sad!

I am very much aware of Smt Radhika Chandramouli who is doing jathaga parivarthanai activities under the guidance of Sri Periyava. However, there is no guarantee that it would have all the data that the folks in US are collecting.

In US I am told that there are lots of folks who have been gathering data of boys and girls in various cities (Bay Area, Boston, NJ, AZ etc) and exchange information within their network. Some do it for free and some are not, which is alright. However their names and numbers are not available in any forum. If you are one of those individuals who are dealing with horoscopes/details of Hindu boys & girls, please respond to this post by providing your numbers/contact details for parents to contact you for their needs. This would be a great help for parents.

Once I gather all data of these individuals, I will provide a permanent link on the main page for easier access.

We pray Periyava to bless all the eligible boys and girls to get married at the right age within our Indian Hindu community so that our cultural and spiritual values pass on to next generations to come.

Periyava Sharanam!

 



Categories: Announcements

25 replies

  1. It would be of help to have some contact information regarding those who have the big heart yo volunter heir time and effort in a good cause like this.

    Kalyani Seetharaman

  2. I live in Seattle, Washington, US. A few of us are trying to start matrimonial services for Tamil Brahmins here. I would like to get in touch with the matrimonial groups in the other states of the USA. Can you please provide me the contacts? Adding to the existing data base may help all of us here.

    Aruna Iyer

    • Aruna Madam
      I want to join your efforts. I live in Houston TX and moving to Seattle WA soon. Tamil, Brahmin, US Citizen and looking for alliance for our Son and also want to help other parents who are in the same boat. What is best way to contact you. I am not comfortable in sharing the contact details in this post as this can be seen by anyone.

    • Dear Mrs. Aruna Iyer,

      How can I contact you? Please give the details.

      Kalyani

    • Aruna Mam,
      How can I contact you? I am looking for my daughter to get married. Thanks.

    • Aruna
      Madam, I am also in Seattle, WA and moved in this month. Can you please share the contact details to my personal email krishnanpittsburgh@gmail.com? I want to be in touch with the network. Thanks Krishnan

  3. Two quotations are relevant

    The first from Shankaracharaya’s Dasa Sloki:

    Na varna, na varnasramachara dharma,
    Na me dharana dhyana yogadhayopi,
    Anathmasrayo aham mamadhya sahanath,
    Thadekovasishta Shiva kevaloham., 2

    I am not the caste, I am not the caste rules,
    I am not stages of life,
    I am not rules, I am not the just conduct,
    I am not meditation, I am not yogic practice,
    For the concept of I and me destroy all these.
    I am simply Shiva the self,
    For this remains even in sleep,
    After everything is taken out.

    The Second, from Ambedkar.

    “Annihilate Caste”

    Let us practice Shankara’s teachings and find the Brahmin within us. Not create a patriarchal system of inbreeding. Let us encourage and embrace marriage across caste, class, religion and race.

    Let not patriarchy prevail.

    Cheers.

    • Jai Ma

      Pranam

      There needs to be a much more nuanced and sukshma understanding of jati and varna, especially as it is related to marriage. And also to veda adhyayana, to swadhyaya, to so much else. Taking abrupt and extreme positions without some depth of understanding, without due anushilana, is self-defeating. So also are emotive and risible issues, such as vegetarianism.

      There is a terrible danger and cost to varna saankarya. At the same time, I come from a tradition that ignores mestruation, and indeed performs the most solemn worship with menstrual blood, but in complete secrecy. It is not a matter of disputation. Some foolish person and persons showed off on a western media by performing blood sacrifices. Such rituals are indeed performed by different grades of sadhakas and for entirely different purposes.

      So also, there is very little understanding of Vaidika devata tattva, or of the prthvi, antariksha and dyausthana, even among so-called vaidikas any longer. Some even take agnihotra diksha without realizing the fullest import of the same: sa-rasa, or ni-rasa.

      Our Dharma is both SANATANA and ADYATANA in its aspects. There cannot be absolute pronouncements from anyone, but there can be pronouncements by adhikaris for a time, a place, and a particular situation, which is constantly evolving.

      Language, food, and religion, by which people choose to define self-identity and fight over, are the most changeable of all human markers, and change every decade or two.

      Watch the TV shows of 1970s or 1960s presented in the USA and the ones currently shown, to remark on the change in the English language, syntax, body language, stress on syllables, etc. Go back tot he 50s, and the change is even sharper!

      Here, one will offer a concrete example. Swami Brahmananda was a veryprofound, very holy Shankaracharya of the Jyotirmath. He initiated the very renowned and equally holy Kara Paatri Maharaj, with strict injunctions to never salute a non-brahman sadhu and ton ot initiate such a one into sannyasa. From Karapaatri Maharaj, descended Swami Akhandanandaji, a most holy sadhu. He came in contact with Sri Hari Baba, born a Sikh, but without a doubt one of the greatest Krishna bhaktas, as was Swami Akhandanandaji. There also was SriSri Ma Anandamayi at the time. What to do now? Break the guruparampara injunctions or refuse to honor these self-evident saints? The story plays out in interesting ways.

      Then there is the case of Srimat Tapovan Maharaj, who was self-initiated,and not a brahmana, supposedly the only caste allowed to accept sannyasa, as per some interpretation of the Dharma.

      Hid disciple was a Menon, from Kerala,who became a dashanami sannyasi of great renown, and who has founded schools that are still going strong. Will the orthodox dispute their legitimacy? Since Swami Shivanandaji, himself born a brahmana, never bothered to dispute the high state of Swami Tapovan.

      However, it is process of growing, evolving, from one stage to another. Jati and varna, dharma and samskaras, are not easily discarded on whims. Yajna, dana, tapa, karma, are not to be discarded, when all else can be discarded, says Bhagavan in the Gita. What is the deeper import? That will prolong the discussion. But thought should be devoted to this line.

      Pranam

    • Seriously Anand Bala? Read Gita about Shastras and svadharma or evening Acharyals ratnamalika and then revisit your comment

      You Will not demonstrate this level of brazen ignorance in your chosen field for livelihood but when it comes to dharma all are super Einstein like experts without having read the most basics of scriptures

  4. A good initiative from a positive mind.
    But here I think you have to split the section into two.
    Those who are in USA on Project/Study and wish to return to India at some later date. The only issue whether such Boy or Girl have been raised in a traditional way by their parents and the children also want to continue to follow the spiritual path laid down by our Sages.
    For such children, I don’t think there will be much difficulty in securing a suitable match unless and until the boy/girl have some fantasy-ideas on how their spouse should be or if their parents are bogged down with ‘equal-status’ ‘Equal-Salary’ syndrome. (I have such parents by the dozens, during my long stay at Nanganallur).
    Further most of the girls in TN are getting excellent education and gainfully employed and in most cases, they will be the only (or one of two) of their parents. This craze for US-Mappillai has been fading and getting an Indian bride for such group is very difficult. For girls employed in US, the situation is still more pitiable. They have to seek a boy employed in US and ready to come back to India when they desire so, (which happens to be their choice) .
    For those children, who have been born, brought up and settled permanently in USA, match-making is more difficult. The ease of finding a match, for this segment, depends on their upbringing by the parents, their own spiritual values and personal choices in the matter. Most of them would have been weaned away by the western culture and may have little knowledge of Indian traditions and its spiritual values.
    Both these groups should have clarity in their mind as to what are their expectations from their spouses. They have to clearly put their views across each other and only if there is full agreement, proceed with the marriage plans.
    And one more suggestion from me, for the parents of those children who are settled in USA and those want to settle down in future. Widen your choices to any Boy/Girl who follows the Indian Spiritual Values. Don’t be clogged down by these Sub-Sects, nativity, and most importantly the matching of horoscopes (Jataka Porutham).
    In this regard my best wishes to noble souls like Radhika Chandramouli. But their endeavour will be successful only with the co-operation of the parents and their NRI children.
    May Mahaperiyava continue to Bless us all.

  5. Anna,
    Sorry to say but condition 2 is being difficult to be met in India also.
    Young adults are not wanting to marry before they are 27-30 atleast. Even from traditional families they go against their parents wishes and want to wait till they settle down in life. Jathagam etc is not being respected. I see that many people who are religious are finding it difficult to get alliance because of their spirituality and they are seen as ‘pazhaya panchangam’ . Sad but true

  6. Yeoman service, for the Indian Diaspora especially for the Brahmin community. Surely this will benefit the first generation of them. Thanks and kudos to Sage of Kanchi Blog and Shri. Mahesh. SARVE JANAA SUKHINO BHAVANTHU; SARVATHRA SAN MANGALAANI SANTHU.
    JAYA JAYA SANKARA; HARA HARA SANKARA; KANCHI SANKARA, KAMAKAOTI SANKARA.

  7. It would be nice if there are such websites in Canada as well.

  8. (2) They should get married to vegetarians

    possible or difficult? or many at USA are not vegetarians ?

    • That is what I am told. Luckily my kids and my friends’ kids are vegetarians.

      • I’m very sad to see such post in Sage of Kanchi blog.,.,

      • True Mahesh.
        If we inculcate proper spiritual lessons from their young age, it is possible to wean them away from the influence of Western Culture and their eating habits.
        But for that we have to impart them the wisdom of Upanishads, and the ethical and moral values which is told and retold by our Ithihasas and Puranas. We have to explain the significance of every ritual we carry out, logically to them. Mere ritualistic worship, which we did forty years ago, will not help them in this age.

        Right now children dependent on their parents will do what ever you say.
        But once they develop wings and are ready to fly only these logical teachings and the personal example set by their parents will influence them.

  9. Thank y. This article came at the right time. For us to get all the data or Brahmins and also be able to counsel and take care of our children, t is important we come together as a community and help each other out. Brahmana Sabha Pancha Dravida is by Brahmins and for Brahmins.
    We want vokunteers in each city, state to come forward to collect the data. But most importantly, help the parents and children through the process of getting married and living happily and dharmically.
    We have about four to five volunteers now. Looking to have a meeting to launch the efforts post Sahasradala event. Appreciate if this message is spread and we get volunteers in all cities and states where Brahmins reside.
    Periwa Charanam
    Radhika Chandramouli

    • What volunteer should do? Will try to help as I am one of the parent searching for suitable boy for my daughter, who is working in USA, and enjoying the pain of searching, and also learning about people, I am from chennai, staying near Medavakkam.

      • Sir, i am working in dubai searching for bride for 5 years … now 33 years age. Nobody responds…I need +2 girl simple marriage.. I approach many matrimonial site no respose.I am pure vegetarian.. kindly consider me also to help get married.

    • Madam
      Can you please tell me how to share the profile details of prospective bride? Can you share your email I’d? I would like to send my niece details.

    • Radhika Madam
      I live in Houston TX and moving to Seattle WA. Happy to help

  10. Sadly, if one can’t resist non vegetarian food, what is there to call as Brahmins

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